Rape Stereotypes Dismantled By My First-Hand Experience

Inspired by @emilyannlosey. This is not to say that these stereotypes don't also happen, but they are less common than you'd think.
  1. Rapists are strangers.
    Mine was a guy I was dating. It happened on our fourth date.
  2. Rapists are creepy old men with unmarked vans and glasses.
    Mine was a cute, charismatic, well-educated 26-year-old who worked in my field.
  3. Rapes happen in dark alleyways.
    Mine happened at his house.
  4. It's not rape if you didn't struggle.
    My body's response was to freeze. I was totally still the entire time he was inside me. Still rape.
  5. There's one particular behavior of a rape victim, and if you don't exhibit that specific hysteria, you must be lying or exaggerating.
    People react differently. I stayed at his house for hours after, trying to normalize and justify the situation. We walked to Gelson's and got a tub of Tillamook ice cream I can never eat again.
  6. If you don't report it, you must be lying or exaggerating.
    I didn't report mine because I knew it would be a case with very little evidence except my word against his. Lawyers don't generally take on cases like that.
  7. Rapes happen when people are drunk.
    They do, of course, but we were both stone-cold sober.
  8. If you're vocal and open about your sexuality, you must always want it.
    We had talked about sex several times before. But no still means no. It meant no when I told him that I didn't think we should have sex when we met up, at dinner, while he was on top of me.
  9. When people say "no," they're playing a game and really mean "yes," they just want their partner to work for it.
    No just means no.