The Boys I Never Kissed
- •The BabyWhen I interned in LA one summer, we threw an epic party for my BFF's 21st. These 18yr olds came and the hot one hit on me the whole night. I had a bf at the time, but this was the 1st time in my life I had been actively hit on before, & the attention from this beautiful blonde, typical SoCal guy (barely legal child) was addictive. I didn't *do* anything, but wanted to see how far she could push it. That is, until one of the girls I was living with went up to him & yelled "SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!"
- •The HipsterIn college, while still w/long distance bf, I went to my roommate's sorority party, themed "People You Love To Hate." Guy dressed as a hipster, or maybe not even in costume TBH, appeared & asked me to dance. I felt him going in for the kiss so I ran away, but drunk me ended up dancing back with him later that night. He kept trying to get closer to kiss me, but the beret I was wearing as a French person for the party theme proved to be a great kiss-avoidance-tactic. Nice to feel wanted though.
- •The ComicThe last of my long trend of dating comics, despite my best attempts otherwise. We met through mutual friends a few times, but hadn't really chatted until I saw him at a different event when my ex was essential babysitting me post-assault. I was the only person who laughed at this guy's jokes there. A few weeks later we matched on Tinder & started texting by mostly sending each other baby pictures. We never actually went on a date, but I still see him all the time and we pretend it's not weird.
- •The Boy-(not literally) Next-DoorWe've been friends since we were 7. We went to prom together. We always text on birthdays and he sends me CDs every time he records a new one because he knows I love having CDs in my car. Nothing ever happened, but there were a few windows where it maybe could have. When my boyfriend and I visit Seattle, I'm excited to see him and meet his girlfriend. I'm glad it will never be weird.