The Time I Saw Him After He Raped Me
I honestly think I blocked this out entirely until I read @olive's heartbreaking list and it came back to me, six months after the fact.
- •I'm on the phone with @linzamauve one night while I walked to the Gelson's near my house to pick up dinner. We're talking about sexism in the workplace. I distinctly remember that.
- •As I'm leaving the store, there's a group of people taking up most of the sidewalk. I have no choice but to walk through them.
- •I look up and lock eyes with him. We haven't had any contact since he told me he was "sorry I felt that way" after I confronted him. It's been six months.
- •But here I am, less than a foot away from him. Forced close contact as a result of the group he's with.
- •I don't say anything but my eyes linger a little too long as I question if I should.
- •He doesn't even open his mouth. He just stares back at me.
- •But I'm still on the phone with Lindsey, and now I'm trying to get far enough away from him that I can tell her why I just went silent.
- •I lived in a completely other part of town when we were dating. And now he's seen me walking out of the grocery store. Not driving. So now he knows I'm close.
- •I try not to panic. I still have to walk home. But it's dark out and he saw me walking and I'm sure he's not following me but it feels like his eyes are.
- •And as I near my building, there's a completely naked man standing in front of it and I don't want to make eye contact but I also don't want to look down so I just charge ahead and triple lock my door once I get inside.