Things I Have Done for Love (or Lack Thereof)

  1. See the same stand up set a dozen times
    It's impressive when jokes are still funny the eighth+ time around
  2. "Accidentally" butt-dial him
    It got us back together, for worse, not better.
  3. Wear the necklace he gave me to senior prom, even though we both had other dates
    Everything was platonic, as much as I wished it wasn't.
  4. Refuse to let him ghost.
    I don't recommend this.
  5. Start watching The Office
    Great call.
  6. Start watching Lost
    He even stopped watching season 3, but i soldiered on like the masochist I am.
  7. Post that song on Facebook
    Hoping he'd comment.
  8. Watch hours of Star Wars action figure YouTube videos
    His videos.
  9. Send him a necklace he posted on Facebook about wanting
    He was in a dark place. I know this is in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend territory but I was young.
  10. Listen as he told me about his intangible pursuit of the perfect woman.
  11. Go to the party.
    No explanation required.
  12. Tell him my friend wanted to slow dance with him even though I was hopelessly smitten.
    Multiple times. Again with the masochism.
  13. Rationalize my rape.
  14. Lure him to my house by "assuming he would have invited his roommate"
    I mean, it worked.
  15. Encourage someone else to ask the sophomore to junior prom before the guy I liked had a chance so he would go with me.
    I still feel guilty 9 years later.
  16. Get into a relationship after knowing him for 4 days.
    It crashed and burned so many times following the first 3 weeks of bliss.
  17. Buy a birthday gift 3 months early and still give it to him after he dumped me (4 days before my OWN birthday)
    See above.