Things Said to ME in the Last 12 Hours That Made ME Want to Bang My Head Against a Wall

  1. "What about the cat?"
    Long story short, my apartment is falling apart and my landlord was sending a profession carpet cleaner in to fix the mess caused by old, moldy pipes exploding. But she kept saying we had to be present for the guy, which I didn't understand until she asked, "What about the cat?" for the second time. The first time I thought it was a typo and said we'd be home SATurday, but apparently she thought we had a cat which was why things were so difficult. We don't have a cat! Oy vey.
  2. "I didn't know you had that much strength!"
    Said to me by the security guard at my office when I flung the door open. Said in an extremely condescending manner, likely because I am a tiny woman who wears dresses. Fuck that shit. Females are strong as hell!
  3. "We should wait to watch Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp until the screening tomorrow."
    Said to me by my boyfriend, since we're attending an outdoor screening of the original movie and first two episodes tomorrow night. But now my coworkers are talking about it and I wanna watch it nowwwwwwww