- •"Okay, but what's your day job? Like, how do you pay your bills?"
- •"You were ENGAGED?!?! The whole time? Well fuck."
- •"Remember how we matched on Tinder? And then never talked about it? And then it happened a second time. And then we surpassed the time when we could ever bring it up?"
- •"If you'd just apologized in 11th grade we'd probably still be friends."
- •"I've never even smoked weed and I probably would have still done molly for you"
- •"So you defriended me on Facebook, but you know I can see that you watch all of my Snapchat stories...right?"
- •"I've seen you at Gelson's twice but I don't think you saw me and I can't say hello because duh."