I LOVE SANTA BUT,

  1. He's so judgmental!
  2. I don't want him watching me sleep.
  3. Who made him God? Oh. No one.
  4. Everyone stops believing in him. Everyone.
  5. He needs a sleigh to get around. And deer. Deer?
  6. He doesn't love me back, like Jesus
  7. Jesus doesn't wait until HIS birthday to give me presents!