a day in the life

I'm home for exactly 1 month this summer, and my daily routine is pathetic. join me for a wild ride through the everyday of a millennial in quarter-life crisis
  1. 8AM: turn off first alarm
    can't get up, you stayed up until 2am watching The Office
  2. 9AM: turn off second alarm
    set a timer that you're sure will actually wake you up
  3. 9:30AM: turn off timer
  4. 9:45AM: wake with a start
    unsure what time it is, scroll through social media
  5. 10AM: get out of bed
    go downstairs, continue watching The Office
  6. 10:30AM: phone call
    friend had a dream about her ex - let's analyze
  7. 11AM: switch to Bob's Burgers and fall asleep
    remember you've only been up for an hour
  8. 12PM: eat 4 pieces of white bread
    parents have no snacks
  9. 12:30PM: back to sleep on the couch
  10. 1PM: lunch
    frozen Lima beans - eat about half before you remember you hate them
  11. 1:30PM: phone call
    same friend, now worried about something else. turn the conversation back to yourself and your own troubles
  12. 2PM: one episode of the Office
  13. 2:30PM: text from sister that she's coming home
    realize you're still not dressed
  14. 3:00PM: phone call
    sister will bring you something from grocery store - request family sized box of macaroni and cheese
  15. what will the rest of the day hold? who knows!
    (lots of existential worry and naps)