Please add suggestions
  1. Couldn't sign divorce papers
    "Look, I'm already depressed, now the gardner can't come until next Tuesday. Can we just reschedule this!?"
  2. Writing partner didn't bring the funny
    "I think I'd feel funnier had I been able to ride my bike here."
  3. Put the wrong child's name on birthday cake
    "Sweetie, the parking at Suzy Cakes was a nightmare! We'll just get your name on your sisters cake in October and that'll make it even."
  4. Couldn't cum
    "It's not you, it's the thunder. It makes me nervous."