Ok let me tell you about this boy. I first laid eyes on him during the recess of 7th grade. In that moment, I knew I wanted to be the mother of his children. Let's call him pizza (don't ask why) ***Fast forward to grade 12***
  1. We're great friends at this point. We wave hi and engage in deep convos every now and then
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    Every time this happens I die a little on the inside
  2. It's winter time and y'all know it's real cold up here in Canada, but I got my own car so I just drive home. I don't gotta worry about the weather. My boy pizza on the other hand doesn't have a car though and usually walks home
    My poor man
  3. One day I'm walking to my car at the end of a long school day, minding my own business, ready to go home
  4. When all of a sudden I hear the voice of an angel calling me from behind
  5. And I turn around like "who dat"
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  6. And you already know who it is. It's pizza. He is waving and running towards me like a black stallion in the desert
  7. My heart starts beating faster, I begin to sweat.
  8. He finally reaches me and says "hey do you mind giving me a ride home. It's really cold out today"
  9. I, being in love and all, would do anything for him. So I casually say sure
  10. But deep down I'm like
    05acbd58 c3df 4b87 8387 ccef3f2bcf92
    YAAAS BOY GET YO FINE ASS IN MY CAR
  11. So we both get into the car
    Sexual tensions are rising faster than global warming
  12. I'm trying to get a grip on the steering wheel, but I'm shaking out of anxiety, fear, love, and lust
  13. I'm a mess
  14. For the most part, the car ride was normal and relaxed. We talked about where we were going after graduation!!
  15. After awhile, we pull up to his place and I park the car
  16. Suddenly we both just go quiet
  17. Like real quiet
  18. Like you could hear the snow hitting the window quiet
  19. And then,
  20. He's all like
  21. "So Rida what are you doing for lunch tomorrow"
  22. And I'm like "uh uh i-i don't know yet, I don't really have plans"
  23. He looks at me, with this soft glow in his eyes
  24. AND SAYS "wanna have lunch with me?"
  25. And I'm like
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  26. DID HE
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  27. JUST ASK ME
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  28. ON A DATE?
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  29. I tell him "boy you know I'm always ready to get down and dirty with you"
    Ok maybe those weren't the exact words, but you know what I mean
  30. So he says "sounds good! I'll meet up with you in the foyer tomorrow during lunch"
  31. And so he leaves, and I start driving home
  32. I'm literally in the car screaming
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  33. You don't understand. I've been crushing on this guy since the 7th grade. After 5 years
  34. He has finally asked me on a date
    The lord has answered my prayers
  35. As soon as I get home I immediately tell my home girl @coconut
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  36. And I start planning out an outfit and everything
  37. It was so serious I even started bumping some Taylor swift
    You KNOW it's real when Tay Tay comes out to play
  38. I WAS LIVIN A FAIRYTALE
  39. So the next day comes right, and I'm awake nice and early, all excited for the day
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  40. I get to school, the morning classes drag on forever
    I was daydreaming about the date the whole time, I couldn't even focus
  41. Meanwhile @coconut is at a different school, in a different city telling her friends about this hot date
    That's how big it was, everyone in the world seemed to know
  42. I'm staring down the clock in anticipation like
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    WILL THIS CLASS EVER END
  43. But finally
  44. The bell for lunch rings
  45. And you already know
  46. I SPRINTED OUT THAT MF CLASS LIKE "I'M COMING FOR YOU BAE"
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  47. "MAMI IS COMING FOR YOU PAPI!"
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  48. I get to the foyer and I'm pushing people out of the way, looking for pizza
    GET OUT THE WAY HOES, GIRL WITH A DATE COMING THROUGH
  49. But I couldn't find him
  50. So I'm thinking, it's 1 minute into lunch. Unlike crazy me, he's probably still putting his stuff away into his locker
  51. So I sit down at one of the benches and wait
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  52. And I wait ...
  53. And I wait some more
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  54. By this time I'm ready to cry
  55. So I text @coconut (naturally)
  56. And I'm crying to her like "WHERE IS HE"
    Mind you I don't even have this kids number so I can't just text him and ask
  57. Now we're halfway into lunch
  58. And one of my friend walks by
  59. And she asks me if I want to go get timmies with her
  60. But I tell her I'm waiting for pizza...because he asked me for lunch
  61. And she's like
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  62. "ooh I don't wanna interrupt your date, I'll just wait here with you until he comes"
    Because obviously she didn't wanna sit by herself at lunch. So she joins the other loner (me)
  63. So now we're both waiting
  64. Eventually the end of lunch is approaching and pizza still hasn't shown up
  65. So my friend looks at me like "yeah, I don't think he's coming"
  66. And I look back at her like
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    "You right girl. You right"
  67. So to conclude the story
  68. This girl and I ended up going for a quick timmies run
  69. And pizza never showed...
  70. I got stood up
  71. And it's funny because I saw pizza later on that day too
  72. WHO, BTW HAD THE AUDACITY TO WAVE AT ME LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED
  73. And I just looked at him back like
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  74. I ignored him. I was so mad
    And I stayed mad for like a month. Didn't even talk to him once no matter how many times he tried to talk to me
  75. But the worst part was...
  76. That @coconut's friends asked her how my date went, and she had to tell them..
  77. .. It never happened
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