SHOPPING AT WHOLE FOODS IS...

This is how an average joe like me spends his time at the neighborhood Whole Foods, mine being the West Hollywood division.
  1. 89% staring, jackal-like, literally foaming at the mouth, at the hundreds of hot chicks going in and out of the store.
  2. 5% loading the cart with overly expensive articles.
  3. 5% returning 3/4 of the groceries upon realizing I can't afford them.
  4. 1% - Ponder on what really is the meaning of life, by the granola self dispenser.