1. "I got you chocolates, but don't eat them all in one day. You'll get fat"
    Enjoyed eating them all in one day after breaking up with him. Also did not gain any weight doing so.
  2. "You should start waxing everyday. I don't like any sign of hair down there"
    Clearly this guy doesn't understand the pain and cost of waxing.
  3. "Smile. You're prettier when you smile"
    I ain't here to look pretty bitch.
  4. "Don't worry, once you find a good man life will be easier on ya."
    Advice from elderly. As if a man will cure all my problems.
  5. "Relax. I'm just playing"
    Said after I freaked out when he touched me while I was asleep.