MY MOST FAVORITE LINES FROM THE ONLINE REVIEWS OF MY BOOK

These bring me so much joy. Truly.
  1. "Does she think anyone cares? Does she not think her father can read?"
  2. "And drinking out of fruit jars - now that is just stupid - when she often states how hard it is to find enough jars for the food they can for the farm - why don't they go to the thrift store and buy glasses and save the jars for what they are meant for - canning - not drinking wine."
  3. "She prepared sophisticated 'culinary school' food, as she reminded us over and over - and fed it to hard working farmers - what a string of bull that is."
  4. "Did skim ahead before returning it to the library and of course, at the end, Ian finally gets around to dumping her and she is, surprise surprise, shocked!"
  5. "She didn't give us much about life on the farm except in her short sighted repetitions of where she and a selfish man who only wanted ugly sex had sex."
  6. "It was as if her year was spent being dumb and dumber."
  7. "...and no man in his right mind would read more than the first few chapters before throwing the book in the fire."
  8. "But in the end I don't feel like the author demonstrated significant personal growth from beginning to end."
  9. "I wanted to punch the Author in the mouth."
  10. "And seriously, what is it with these memoir writers and their obsession with killing chickens."
  11. "it's a little boring."
  12. "Was this Sweet Valley High, rural edition?"
  13. "...the most disgusting book I've ever seen in my life."