1. Consider cleaning the house ourselves.
  2. Admit that we've tried that, and now the house looks like the inside of a biohazard bag.
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  3. Get $140 cash
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  4. Frantically clean house.
  5. Argue with wife about why we have to clean the house just before the cleaners come.
  6. Hide this:
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  7. Put this under bed. (Try different bed -- this one has already been raised a few inches off the ground by last month's stash of papers.)
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  8. Resolve to clean the house ourselves next year.
  9. Repress memory of Barbara Ehrenreich saying, "People should just clean up their own damn mess."
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  10. Be amazed at how great house looks after it's been cleaned.