What Should a Bookish Guy Whose Wife Is Away Bring to a Colleague's Holiday Party?
Hurry -- I have to leave soon!
- •Do I really have to bring anything if I wear this hat?
- •This inflatable snowman would have the distinct advantage of being the largest gift.Now I'm thinking I should have deflated it before I tried getting it in the car.
- •This festive Snowman Pillow is adorable, no?The cat's done with it, so might as well pay it forward.
- •They probably already have an elf, but I could bring a shelf!Every year, believe it or not, I'm the only guy who brings a shelf.
- •How hard could it be to make a festive Gingerbread House?Saltine crackers for walls, mayonnaise for snow, Advil pills for Christmas lights -- this'll be easy.
- •Perhaps I could deliver a dramatic reading of "A Child's Christmas in Wales."Everybody says my Welsh accent is purfuct!
- •Is it appropriate to wear and then leave a Christmas tie?
- •Can you eat cranberries raw?
- •Could this be my chance to unload the clock that plays Christmas carols on the hour?I particularly hate it from 1 AM to 6 AM.
- •What says Merry Christmas like 387 poetry collections?I could put them in a festive bag!