Mostly because they do not know
  1. The guy in the quad outside my room
    Please take your death cough somewhere else so I can sleep.
  2. Hamsa from next door
    Who, despite my constant pleading, continues to play Drake at full volume on a regular basis.
  3. The entirety of the Tulane Housing Office
    Because it's mandatory to live on campus and even the most convincing doctors note or financial statement in the world will not convince them of letting you pay 1/2 the amount you do to them.
  4. Martha Stewart
    That recipe for coconut thumbprint cookies was lacking some serious direction.