THINGS MY DAD HAS DONE IN THE NAME OF "HEALTH"

Or Health fads attempted by Paul
  1. Juice Cleanse
    He was craaaaaaanky
  2. Chinese Herbal Cleanse
    This one resulted in my stepmom pooping her pants on the way to the gym. Lol.
  3. CrossFit
    "Do you wanna know what our workout was today, Rose?" "No, not really" "Ok well let me tell you!..."
  4. The blood type diet
    I was 8 and I was pissed. I love nightshades.
  5. Veganism
    After seeing Food Inc.
  6. Vegetarianism
    Being vegan was too hard.
  7. The Paleo Diet
    Being Vegetarian not good for him. We currently have [when pieced together would become] a whole goat in our freezer. It's grass fed and it's name is Colin.
  8. Take papaya enzymes
    I like this one. They're chewable and taste like Flintstone vitamins.
  9. Cut out all sugar
    Not sustainable to say the least.
  10. Drink wine
    "For your health"