THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE

  1. When some dipshit little kid who hasn't learned to speak correctly says "Its not my fault" but it sounds like "Its not my fart"
  2. When the pizza delivery guy shows up two hours late but it turns out he's the brother everyone thought died in a fire
  3. When it snows so much that schools have to close and all your teachers do for the rest of the school year is talk about how the lesson plan is ruined
  4. When you FINALLY get on Jeopardy and accidentally call Trebek "Dad"
  5. When they call you for jury duty but it turns out you cant be on the jury because you are the murder victim
  6. When your boss gives you a call in the middle of the night so you can coordinate outfits for tomorrow's shift