How to Be a Successful Businessman
In three easy steps.
- •Change your name to something catchyLike Mitchy Jorbin, or Jubby Tombo!
- •Have a good business ideaPreferably with a pun-based name.
- •Do good businessBuy all the stocks. Then sell them to an orphan child named Clarence.
- •Make connectionsTweet at celebrities every day. Just say hi sometimes, but if the moment feels right, there are times when it's acceptable to ask for money.
- •Learn to talk the talk"Dolla dolla bill ya'll" is something that should be slipped into every business pitch. Sometimes every sentence.