THINGS THAT MUST PISS MADONNA OFF

  1. Cyndi Lauper
  2. When people remember that Vogue was on the Dick Tracy soundtrack and want to know how they're related.
  3. Nobody "gets" Shanghai Surprise.
  4. Anyone who compares her Sex book to Kim Kardashian's sex tape.
  5. Cyndi Lauper's Grammys
  6. Guy Ritchie got England in the divorce.
  7. People who pronounce the "ch" sound in Hebrew as "h."
  8. Articles that make distinctions between "her children" and "her adopted children."
  9. Everybody talks about Harry Potter but nobody ever talks about The English Roses.
  10. Cyndi Lauper's Emmy
  11. Being asked what she thinks her best song is. Obviously, it's Express Yourself. Ugh.
  12. HuluPlus loads super slow when coming back from commercials but never when going TO commercials.
  13. Her hat in the Borderline video
  14. At A League of Their Own reunion parties, Lori Petty always drinks too much and wants to know why she hasn't had a better career.
  15. Cyndi Lauper's Tony
  16. Some people still think of American Pie as a Don McLean song.
  17. Yes, she fell at the Brit awards. But did no one see her get back up?!?
  18. At a party, if people say they think Beyonce is overrated, she can't agree without everyone thinking she's threatened.
  19. Whenever she takes a vacation, she can't find a license plate with her name in the local gift shop.
  20. She looks how she looks, writes how she writes and performs how she performs and people still want to talk about her age.