REASONS I USE THE LIST APP
- •BJ has threatened to hurt me if I don't. (He can't see this, right?)
- •Increases the odds Lena Dunham will name a momentarily relevant yet perpetually alluring Girls character after me.
- •Because who knew Ricky Van Veen was funny? Well, I mean, he's trying. But who knew he would/could even try?
- •BJ has threatened my safety via text message even as I type this. Are you hearing my cry for help?
- •Hoping that when Teen Vogue does a sidebar on which apps Mindy Kaling is using, I'll get a mention as an example of a software bug that caused her to follow random losers
- •Because ain't nobody got time to read long form.
- •I live for the opportunity to pitifully roll my eyes at the desperate souls who didn't get invited into the beta. Any beta.
- •I'm only here until the first fatality results from a bulleted vs numbered dispute. (Note: the Bible was numbered. This bullet-pointed list shit will likely draw papal ire.)
- •I keep all my iOS apps ordered alphabetically on my phone and there was a glaring gap between "Karate Moves for Pussies" and "Medium-Big." (You guys aren't in that beta? Sigh.)