THE FIVE STEVE BUSCEMIS YOU MEET IN HEAVEN
Heaven's gonna be awesome
- •Buscemi the WiseThe wisest of the Steve Buscemis. He greets you when you first get to heaven and shares the deepest slices of Buscemi wisdom, like how to make a really solid mayo-free coleslaw or how to make fun of Adam Sandler on set without him catching on. He also knows a lot about bats for some reason.
- •The Great Steve BuscemiThis Steve Buscemi is just great. Like a really great guy. Someone you just want to be around and high-five and maybe go do karaoke with, but you can't because all of Heaven shares the Great Steve Buscemi, and it would be wrong of you to hog him to yourself.
- •The Steve Buscemi with no armsYou'll encounter him sometime around day three. Honestly he's a little unnerving on account of the lack of arms. Not that armless people are unnerving. But this one is. Probably because it's Steve Buscemi.
- •Hungry Steve BuscemiThis is a great Steve Buscemi to know, because he always knows where the nearest buffet is (on account of he's hungry). Ask him to tell you about his favorite gyro!
- •BooshBeware the Boosh. If you see the Boosh, run, my child. Run.