THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE CALL FROM ADELE'S 'HELLO'

  1. Hello? Who is this? Wait, is this Adele? Oh my gosh. Hi, Adele!
  2. Actually they say modern medicine's supposed to heal ya. Have you tried modern medicine or just sticking with the time thing?
  3. Sure, but, I mean, 'everything?' That seems like kind of a lot. Maybe just grab a coffee and play catchup on the big stuff. There's a cute new espresso place I've been dying to-
  4. Yup. Can you hear me?
  5. Wait, you're in California? I'm in Chicago. How exactly are we supposed to meet?
  6. Forgotten how what felt? And when exactly did the world fall at our feet? What does that even mean? Are you high right now?
  7. Actually I just Google mapped it and LA to Chicago is only 2,000 miles - not a million. Seriously, girl - exaggerate much?
  8. Again with the exaggeration! I have two missed calls from you, Adele. Two - not a thousand! I'm sorry I had my phone on silent. I went to see Goosebumps and forgot to put it back on ring, ok? Jeez.
  9. Oh. Wow. You're apologizing. Ok. Um... I forgive you.
  10. I mean, yeah, it kind of bummed me out when you dumped me, but it was only, like, three dates, and I knew you really weren't that into me. Plus I'm mostly just stoked to be able to say I dated freakin Adele. I mean, do you know how cool that is to tell people? I guess what I'm trying to say is, 'no hard feelings.'
  11. I'm actually pretty good. Thanks for asking. I just ran my first 10k and I'm thinking of getting a pug. Also, I-
  12. Oh. No, that's fine. I mean, you're Adele. Feel free to talk about yourself all you want. I'm sure your life is way more exciting than mine, right?
  13. I am well, and, yes, I made it out of Chesterfield. Like I said - I'm in Chicago. Are you even listening to me?
  14. Wait - running out of time for what???
  15. What other side? Wait, Adele, what am I running out of time for????
  16. Ok, will you stop repeating yourself?? I told you I forgive you. Now will you get back to this whole me being out of time thing? Am I in danger? Or-
  17. Oh for the love of- you ARE high, aren't you?
  18. Ok, that's nice, Adele. Look, I know you've tried, and I'm telling you we're cool, alright? No hard feelings. Nothing tearing me apart. I'm good. Ok? Really, I'm good.
  19. Uh huh. Ok, listen, Adele, I've gotta run. I have Lionel Richie calling on the other line.
  20. Goodbye, Adele.