1. I don't usually drink coffee.
  2. So when I do, oh boy..
  3. 6-8 sips in I feel it.
  4. I feel it STRONK.
  5. Half a cup (small, with sugar and milk): feeling loopy
  6. Full cup: TUNNEL VISION
  7. At this point I feel lacksadaisical even though i don't know what that means and feel like a delirious drunk and everything is really funny to me.
  8. I do this thing where I just stand still and feel all my insides racing like Daytona.
  9. And start laughing to myself.
  10. I also have the liquid courage in me that tells me to stare at strangers right in the eyes from afar and smize creepily.
  11. One time, i drank two americanos out of boredom during an overnight layover in heathrow. (The cofee shop was the only thing opened at the time). When the sun rose, lgghts came on, shops opened, and people started walking around, apparently I had started yelling "WHO ARE YOU STRANGERS AND WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN MY HOME"
  12. and then I ordered a crossaint at a store but was short some money, but didn't realize it.
    Didn't help that these coins were in euros, and I refused the cashier to let me proceed without paying fully. (I was about the U.S. equvalent of 10 cents short)
  13. If you wanna see me really let myself go, hold the whiskey. Pour me some dunkin.