REASONS I ENJOY VISITING MY PARENTS IN NEW JERSEY

  1. Soft wall-to-wall carpeting
  2. Abundant Honey Mustard and Onion Pretzel Bits
  3. 3.5 bathrooms
  4. The fact that my parents call liposuction "the procedure"
  5. A yard
  6. A gazebo
  7. Deer
  8. A nice center island in the kitchen
  9. A Yankees themed basement
  10. The excitement generated whenever an Entourage movie trailer plays on their HD TV