Reasons I will not be on time for my 8 am doctor's appointment tomorrow morning
- •I will not go to bed on time tonight. I will watch ALL THE HOUSEWIVES, both Real and Desperate.
- •When my alarm goes off at an inhumane hour tomorrow, I will repeatedly and rashly hit snooze, with complete disregard for the actual time.
- •I will decide around 7 a.m. that now is a good time to do the dishes and "just clean up a bit."
- •I will realize I have to go straight to work after the appointment. Plus doctors take you more seriously if you look like an adult. I will spend 10 minutes putting on make up.
- •I will wait until a time at which it is logistically impossible to take public transit and still arrive on time, and then wonder if Uber would be faster?
- •Uber will not be faster.
- •I will realize there's No Way In Hell I'm doing this without coffee.
- •I will struggle to find the actual entrance and walk looking frazzled, at which point the receptionist will tell me the doctor is running behind.