THINGS MY GRANDMA SAID TO ME IN THE YEARS BEFORE SHE DIED

She died in 2005 at the ripe old age of 97. She was kind of a bitch.
  1. Learn Latin. It's the only way you will get the respect of men.
    This was warranted for her day- she wanted me to be a lawyer.
  2. Marry a doctor. It's the only way you will get the respect of other men.
    Not warranted
  3. Don't listen to your mother. She's an idiot.
    My mom is not an idiot. My mom is brilliant.
  4. If you don't clean your room you will never find a husband.
  5. If you don't wear shoes you will never find a husband.
  6. Children should be seen and not heard.
  7. When you have money you should buy gold.
  8. You're too loud to ever find a husband. You must learn to shut up.
  9. You're okay. You just have those Australian thighs.
  10. Women shouldn't have big feet. It's unattractive.
  11. Make sure you get all my rings when I die. You are the only one with a clean bloodline.
    I don't even know what this means... other than I am the ONLY woman born in that bloodline in 3 generations besides my sister who she didn't like.
  12. Your father is my favorite.
    She said this a lot.