REASONS THE ACADEMY AWARDS ARE STUPID AND POINTLESS
Because let's be real: the Oscars are just straight up stupid.
- •Kubrick, Nolan, Fincher, Tarantino, Hitchcock.Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, The Dark Knight, Inception, 2001, Full Metal Jacket, Psycho, Se7en and Fight Club to name a few of their films. Between them they hold literally 0 Best Director Oscars. Come on, Academy.
- •The year 1995This year churned out one of the best years in movie history. But, you know what didn't get nominated for Best Picture? Toy Story, The Usual Suspects or Se7en. You know what DID get nominated for Best Picture? Babe. Remember that movie? It's okay, literally no one else does either.
- •The Dark Knight not getting nominated for Best PictureI guess 2008 just wasn't ready for this.
- •CrashIf I have to explain further you shouldn't be reading this list.
- •Titanic won 11 OscarsEveryone's mom saw this movie in the theater-twice-even though it's the movie equivalent of a landfill. You could practically hear Terminator and Aliens fans crying themselves to sleep after witnessing their idol fall into sappy melodrama and blatant overacting.
- •The Lego Movie not getting nominatedYeah that makes sense, let's NOT nominate the year's most appealing, well liked animated movie for Best Animated Feature. Instead, let's get that weird boxtroll movie and that other one that no one can pronounce and let's throw them in there!
- •Another thing about The Dark Knight...After the Academy realized the error of their ways in not nominating The Dark Knight, they expanded the number of Best Picture of nominees in subsequent years from 5 to 10, letting mediocre films such as The Kids Are All Right, War Horse, and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close snag a nomination. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close???? I would rather watch ice melt.
- •LeoYou know how it is.
- •Lack of authenticityThe awards are more about crowd-pleasing and giving out pity Oscars (Yes, Denzel, you) than they are about genuinely recognizing the best films of the year. In fact, some films plan their release time, their casting, and even their plot around whether it will garner more Oscars than the alternative. We call these Oscar bait and they are incredibly annoying but somehow win more often than not. *cough cough* 12 Years A Slave *cough cough*
- •Why was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen nominated for ANYTHING?If you like this movie, you probably just turned 11. You're also probably reading this list in the checkout line in K-Mart with soon-to-be-yours Heelys. Good for you, kiddo.