THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" NOW THAT I'M BITTER AND JADED

  1. Why did none of those motherfuckers yell "Hey George watch out for that pool behind you!"? They just let them dance dangerous close to the edge multiple times.
  2. I want to fuck George Bailey. Even though he's an angry mess, I'd still fuck him. What does that say about me?
  3. I'm surprised they didn't give Mr. Potter a cat to pet on his lap. That's about the only cliche "evil" thing they didn't use for him.
  4. No better way to court a girl than vandalizing a house she just said she loves.
  5. Clarence: Gay? He at LEAST gave a hand job to some guy freshman year.
  6. GIVE IT UP VIOLET! He's just not that into you!
  7. Why is there a crow in the Building and Loan?
  8. Bert and Ernie are super creepy singing outside that window while George and Mary make out.
  9. The way Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed kiss is absolutely disgusting. Does he ever get her lips? I'm pretty sure he just sort of sucks on her cheek bone.
  10. Why is there a goat in the car when they visit Bailey Park? Did some animal wrangler just walk onto the sound stage while they were filming and insist on his animal be in this film? "I got a crow and a goat. How do you want to use them?"
  11. Come on Uncle Billy! Get your shit together. You are a grown ass man!!
  12. "I want to look at my flower." Boy times were simple back then. Can you imagine a child today being content just looking at a flower?
  13. Reason why Clarence is Gay #1: He was VERY quick to get naked in front of George
  14. Reason why Clarence is Gay #2: Mulled wine
  15. "Zuzu Spetals" will be my drag name if I ever go down a different career path.
  16. Let's all admit it: Pottersville looks more fun than Bedford Falls.
  17. Let's not forget George is belligerently drunk at the end. That explains his exuberant behavior.
  18. So they solve the money problem but are we supposed to just forget George Bailey challenged Mr. Welch to a fight? How's he gonna get out of that predicament?
  19. He's also probably going to be charged with a DUI.
  20. And Mr. Potter just gets to keep that $8,000? Where is the justice there?
  21. Where did this random black lady come from? The entire town could not be any more white. In that time period would they be so nonchalant about her?
  22. No matter how bitter I am though, I will still always cry over "To my brother George. The richest man in town" 😂
  23. ...and if that doesn't do it "Thanks for the wings"/"Atta boy Clarence" will bring equal amount of tears 😂😂😂