WAYS TO GUARANTEE I SWIPE LEFT ON TINDER

  1. Only photos are selfies
    Do you have friends or are you a sociopath who keeps to himself?
  2. Wearing sunglasses in every picture
    Do you have eyes? I would like to see them
  3. At least three people in each photo
    Great. You've proven you have friends, but I don't know which one you are. Are the hot one on the left? Oh no. You're not. You're the hunchback on the left.
  4. Photo of you as an 8 year old
    I'm not a pedophile and would rather not try to decide if I'm attracted to you by seeing you 20 years ago.
  5. 9/11 Memorial Photo
    Not cool, bro. Nothing sexy about almost 3,000 lives lost
  6. This nip slip