Trump Campaign Debate Prep Priorities

  1. 1. Block instinct to shit on women, black people, Latinos and the poor, in spite of deeply rooted disdain and lack of respect for all of them.
  2. 2. Learn the names of at least two foreign leaders, in spite of not giving a shit about them either.
  3. 3. Find any poll with good news and make anyone watching believe there is only one poll to pay attention to, because every other poll is rigged by LIBERALS.
  4. 4. Don't talk about dick size.
  5. 5. Plausibly appear to actually give a single shit about doing anything that the president of the United States is required to do.