Last 4 Photos On My Camera Roll, Captioned

This was an exercise in learning that I'm kind of a dick.
  1. Passive aggressively telling the boyfriend to put the fucking condiments away
    But simultaneously loving my own kitschy kitchen art
  2. This pose makes my dog a better philosopher than I'll ever be
  3. How to parent, train station edition
  4. Convincing someone they found the Willy Wonka Golden Ticket of beer (previously: exploiting drunk friends)