DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH OF ABUSE. [EDITED]

I'm writing this list because I was once a victim of physical/sexual abuse. Maybe there's someone out there who is afraid to speak up, and trust me love, you are not alone. This one is for you 😘
  1. Regain reality.
    For me, this was the first step. Just knowing who I was and KNOWING that there were a lot of lies floating around in my head trying to take control. Lies telling me I was worthless, unwanted, or that I deserved it. These are all LIES.
  2. Get stable.
    For me, it was moving to a completely different country to stand my ground. It was finding community that I could lean on. This didn't come easily. In fact, just recently I've begun to open up to people.
  3. Receive help.
    I noticed there was a difference between going to therapy and actually receiving therapy. There was a part of me that was extremely stubborn and didn't want to get better.
  4. Identify triggers.
    Slowly. Desensitize yourself. I was scared of Ironing boards for the longest time. They are harmless, but it brings back memories of my abuse. I'm not saying this happens quickly. I still don't iron, and I only have a tiny board inside my laundry closet that I NEVER use. But hey, it's in my house. Which is a huge step so far.
  5. Find forgiveness for yourself.
    My biggest struggle wasn't forgiving others, but instead, myself. Why? I have no clue. But I came to realize that without forgiveness for myself I wasn't going to accept love from other people.
  6. Become your dream.
    Don't let fears, anxiety, depression define who you are. These are merely temporary struggles. Find hobbies that you love. People who make you laugh.
  7. Try to Trust
    In my first draft, I wasn't going to write this. Mostly because I struggle with this a lot. I have an extremely hard time trusting people, it doesn't come naturally. It's amazing how many things depend on trust. Sex depends on trust. My husband, I LOVE him, but there were so many things I didn't trust about men, about my body, about sex, about relationships. This makes things hard. Try to learn to trust.
  8. Ok. One last thing I promise! Let yourself feel.
    Cry. Get angry. Stay in bed. Then, when YOU are ready, take those emotions and turn them into something good.