DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH OF ABUSE. [EDITED]
I'm writing this list because I was once a victim of physical/sexual abuse. Maybe there's someone out there who is afraid to speak up, and trust me love, you are not alone. This one is for you 😘
- •Regain reality.For me, this was the first step. Just knowing who I was and KNOWING that there were a lot of lies floating around in my head trying to take control. Lies telling me I was worthless, unwanted, or that I deserved it. These are all LIES.
- •Get stable.For me, it was moving to a completely different country to stand my ground. It was finding community that I could lean on. This didn't come easily. In fact, just recently I've begun to open up to people.
- •Receive help.I noticed there was a difference between going to therapy and actually receiving therapy. There was a part of me that was extremely stubborn and didn't want to get better.
- •Identify triggers.Slowly. Desensitize yourself. I was scared of Ironing boards for the longest time. They are harmless, but it brings back memories of my abuse. I'm not saying this happens quickly. I still don't iron, and I only have a tiny board inside my laundry closet that I NEVER use. But hey, it's in my house. Which is a huge step so far.
- •Find forgiveness for yourself.My biggest struggle wasn't forgiving others, but instead, myself. Why? I have no clue. But I came to realize that without forgiveness for myself I wasn't going to accept love from other people.
- •Become your dream.Don't let fears, anxiety, depression define who you are. These are merely temporary struggles. Find hobbies that you love. People who make you laugh.
- •Try to TrustIn my first draft, I wasn't going to write this. Mostly because I struggle with this a lot. I have an extremely hard time trusting people, it doesn't come naturally. It's amazing how many things depend on trust. Sex depends on trust. My husband, I LOVE him, but there were so many things I didn't trust about men, about my body, about sex, about relationships. This makes things hard. Try to learn to trust.
- •Ok. One last thing I promise! Let yourself feel.Cry. Get angry. Stay in bed. Then, when YOU are ready, take those emotions and turn them into something good.