Clips Of My Life That God Will Show Me In Heaven Before Kicking Me Out For Good

wow some childhood memories are returning and I'm realizing why they were repressed
  1. That time in Sunday school when the teacher was taking prayer requests and every child was like "my grandpa has Alzheimer's" and I was like "do you think God would turn my brown eyes green if I ask real real real good"
    I should mention that my grandfather legitimately died of Alzheimer's Disease :/
  2. That time I ran upstairs and put on 9 layers of underwear before my mom spanked me with that wooden spoon good lord
    I should mention that I threw lit firecrackers at my brother from the roof when he was playing in the yard he was so so so scared and didn't know where the assault was coming from hahaha :/
  3. That time in third grade when Drew Bishop wrote me a love letter and I was embarrassed and stupid so I showed my friends and we group-effort wrote a fake love letter back to him and laughed
    I know I truly deserve the fiery flames for this one I still think about it KILL ME I deserve it :/
  4. Last week when I crossed to the other side of the street so I wouldn't feel bad about not giving cash monies to the Salvation Army worker holding a bucket dressed as Santa
    :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/
  5. List updates soon, a monster's work is never done
    xoxo