Elaborate Pranks I'm Cookin' Up

  1. Marrying a nice boy named Shawn (Sean is acceptable but not as good for the joke tbh)
    It was funny at first "hahaha look at our wedding invitations," but honestly we don't love each other and we are not staying together for our five children. Lives destroyed.
  2. Starting a cult, but like a healthy one that helps people. It's fine.
    Still brainstorming a message we can all get behind. I'll need a traditionally hot male to be the figurehead (taking resumes) but obviously I'll be pulling the strings behind the scenes bc he will be too dumb and very busy hooking up with our pretty female followers to do so himself. It will be so funny at the tenth annual national convocation when I'm like "THIS IS FAKE Y'ALL BUT LOOK AT THE FRIENDS WE MADE HAHAHAHAHA." Thousands of lives destroyed.
  3. THAT'S ALL I HAVE FOR NOW BYE