Email Subject Lines, Ranked by How Quickly I Will Open Them

  1. 9.
    This Week's Polls
    brb burning myself alive
  2. 8.
    (no subject)
    what kind of sociopath
  3. 7.
    "Account Balance"
    nah I'm good
  4. 6.
    "Your Billing Statement"
    how dare you
  5. 5.
    "Action Required"
    don't tell me what to do
  6. 4.
    "Hey"
    jazz it up a bit
  7. 3.
    "New This Month on Netflix, Hulu, HBO GO, and Prime"
    urgent tbh
  8. 2.
    "Look at this crushed velvet dress I don't know how to feel about crushed velvet HALP ME"
    bestie, you the real MVP
  9. 1.
    "Your Order Has Shipped"