Evidence I Have Collected That Proves I Have a *Jealous* Dog

Thank you @Nicholas — dogs are humans capable of experiencing a vast array of emotions, including jealousy.
  1. Nicholas thinks this is a stuffed animal, and honestly he might be right.
  2. But let me tell you, Theodore Roosevelt Kelly is a VICIOUS jealous BEAST
  3. Supporting evidence 1: He once gently nudged my 1 yr old niece down a flight of stairs after she hugged me too closely for his liking.
    She laughed all the way down, and now thinks this is a fun game to play. Joke's on you, Ted.
  4. Supporting evidence 2: He once dropkicked a postman after sensing that I love receiving Amazon packages more than I love him and my family and @everythingelseonthisgodforsakenearth
    That postman is not ok. He is dead.
  5. Supporting evidence 3: He catfished a guy that I was talking to and lured him into a freezer in the back of a Waffle House.
    That man is frozen now, but honestly that's what you get for walking into Waffle House, bruh.
  6. Supporting evidence 4: He knows my brother Peter is my favorite human, so he won't kill him. He just makes Peter carry him around like a mama kangaroo so he won't miss out on anything we're up to.
  7. Supporting evidence 5: He once told me he was jealous and I believe him.