1. Stay Unorganized
    This is a great way to ruin all of your artistic plans. Make sure your living space is cluttered and unmanageable, specifically desks, bedrooms, and cars. An unorganized environment does wonders for exercising the procrastination muscle, since you obviously cannot do anything until whatever it is that’s disorderly finds structure. It’s also important to never write anything down. Clarity breeds creativity, so lose yourself in a swamp of nonsense to ensure ideas lose traction.
  2. Wait Till You're Inspired
    A stroke of genius often masquerades itself as hard work and dedication. Only work when you’re “inspired” to make sure that your odds of creative genius are vastly unfavorable. To ensure nothing gets done, approach your creative pursuits with inconsistency and intermittent flashes of passion.
  3. Compare Yourself to Others
    If the first two didn’t kill every inspired thought, this one surely will. Never mind the fact that if everyone was talented in the same area, our world would be 100% less stimulating. Never mind the fact that people are drawn to different things. Never mind the fact that you’re naturally prone to seeing the flaws in your own stuff and not in anyone else’s. Disregard all logic in this area.
  4. Give In to Fear
    Listen to those thoughts that say you can’t. Those same thoughts that you would tell your best friend to ignore – yeah, never stop listening to those. And while you’re at it, I wouldn’t even take a minute to think about how they mostly occur at night when you’re alone and vulnerable to every anxious inclination. Take constructive criticism personally and always be offended. This is all critical to convincing yourself that you’re talentless and ridiculous for attempting to do anything ever.
  5. Don't Try New Things
    Stick to what you know and never venture far from your comfort zone. Things that stretch your security in any way are to be strictly avoided. Such things include, but are not limited to: new people, new places, new hobbies.