In Honor of Summer: A Deconstructive Analysis of LFO's "Summer Girls"

It is a rare work of art that leaves a footprint GENERATIONS after its creation. LFO's song, nay their masterpiece, is one such work. Special thanks to @Nicholas for laying the foundation on which I have built this list: GIF It to ME Baby: 'Summer Girls' by Lfo
  1. "New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick."
    New Kids on the Block DID have hits. NOTHIN BUT NET with the truth bomb outta the gate. Dietary issues outta the gate is a bold choice.
  2. ADDITIONALLY, the decision to rhyme "hits" with "sick" is so bold that if the song does nothing else from this moment on, we at least have the courage to come at life like a wrecking ball.
  3. "And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer."
    Here we have a thread of mystery woven effortlessly into the narrative tapestry. Where do three men live that they only see female members of the human race from June to mid-September?
  4. "I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch. I'd take her if I had one wish, but she's been gone since that summer, since that summer."
    Making your mom pay $40 dollars for your A&F tank top in 1999 let everyone know what kind of herd-mentality decisions you were willing to make to be a true Summer Girl. He wants to TAKE you.
  5. "Hip Hop marmalade spic and span. Met you one summer and it all began. You're the best girl that I ever did see. The great Larry Bird Jersey 33."
    This particular summer girl was wearing a Celtics jersey when he spilled marmalade on her at brunch.
  6. "When you take a sip, you buzz like a hornet."
    Tipsy-after-one-sip dream girl amirite?
  7. "Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets."
    Factual.
  8. "Call me Willy Whistle 'cause I can't speak baby."
    He doesn't talk baby-talk, but he thinks hers is cute.
  9. "Somethin' in your eyes went and drove me crazy."
    This is when he killed a man that stepped to his summer girl.
  10. "Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad. Left one day and never came back."
    He used his one wish to take her, and after consideration, she thought the move was a bit aggressive.
  11. "Stayed all summer, then went back home."
    He feels betrayed.
  12. "Macaulay Culkin was in Home Alone."
    He's not wrong.
  13. THE KEY TO COMBATTING FEELINGS OF BETRAYAL IS TO SPOUT OFF A LIST OF THINGS THAT ARE TRUE
  14. "Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin'"
    She asked him to take her back to wherever he took her from and hasn't texted him back since.
  15. "Michal J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton"
    Also true.
  16. "When I met you, I said my name is Rich. You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch."
    Is this lyrical anecdote true? No one can confirm. However, it has been confirmed that when the writers realized Rich rhymed with Fitch, they were all immediately impregnated.
  17. "Cherry Pez, Coke Crush, Rock Stud, Boogie."
    The gradual escalation from children's candy to perilous narcotics is a metaphor for the tumultuous nature of summer love.
  18. "Used to hate school, so I had to play hookie."
    Bad boyz bad boyz watcha gonna do.
  19. "Always been hip to the B Ball style."
    K.
  20. "Known to act wild and make a girl smile."
    Girls just wanna have fun. Factual.
  21. "Love New Edition and the Candy Girl. Reminds me of you because you rock my world."
    Even though he hates Chinese food, his musical preferences are culturally diverse.
  22. "You come from Georgia, where the peaches grow. They drink lemonade and speak real slow."
    Lemonade was only found in GA until Beyoncé shattered the Lemonade ceiling.
  23. "You love hip hop and rock and roll."
    He loves her originality.
  24. "Dad took off when you were four years old."
    This took a dark turn.
  25. "There was a good man named Paul Revere."
    Actual factual info.
  26. "I feel much better, baby, when you're near. You love Fun Dip and Cherry Coke."
    I too partake in the occasional sugary treat. That said, if this is in the regular meal rotation I would encourage checking her birth year to confirm this is all on the up and up.
  27. "I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke."
    Bonus points if you let him explain it to you afterwards.
  28. "When I met you, I said my name was Rich. You looked like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch."
    Now SHE'S pregnant.
  29. "In the summertime, girls got it goin' on. Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song."
    K.
  30. "Summertime girls are the kind I like. I'll steal your honey, like I stole your bike."
    Brb filing a police report.
  31. "Boogaloo shrimp and pogo sticks. My mind takes me back there oh so quick. "
    I don't even
  32. "Let you off the hook, like my man Mr. Limpet. Think about that summer and I bug 'cause I miss it."
    I should google Mr. Limpet, but I don't have the energy to open another tab to discover something that will surely disappoint.
  33. "I like the color purple, macaroni and cheese. Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees."
    Same.
  34. "I'd call you up, but what's the use? I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Foot Loose."
    Because she wouldn't watch it with him.
  35. "I came in the door, I said it before. I think I'm over you, but I'm really not sure."
    Pray about it and get back to me.
  36. "When I met you, I said my name was Rich. You looked like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch."
    Everyone reading this is pregnant now.
  37. UPDATE: I can't stop watching the music video jkksjsjdowmwkxnfjk SOS I think they live under the Jersey Shore Boardwalk