On the Fallacy of Parental Favoritism
The only evidence you need to disprove favoritism is this gallery wall* constructed by my mother out of the purest form of love distributed evenly amongst her children. My parents never show their hand, and always play it cool.
- •An 8x10 photo of their eldest, no doubt taken in the customer service department of a SEARS, circa 1987.
- •Oh look, their second son. Truly the most talented of all the Kelly offspring. This 8x10 snapped in a Walmart studio is truly befitting of his future musical and artistic genius.
- •This 8x10 of their youngest child, propped against what is surely a cardboard box with a plush blanket strewn atop it, is a•r•t™ in its rawest form. The unidentifiable stain on the top left corner adds jarring depth to the composition.
- •what is this
- •A 16x20 portrait of their only daughter, commissioned in Firenze, Italia on a trip where hope and light and beauty and love and joy were rediscovered in a post-9/11 world.
- •She posed for an hour and a half on a bridge at dusk.
- •God bless 🙏🏼
- •*This wall is obviously just an aggressive play to ensure that I am the one who takes care of them in their old age.