When to Call the Police

9 clear and present dangers; dial 911 immediately
  1. When you accidentally get recruited by Mary Kay
  2. When you can't escape a group text
  3. When you find out a guy you've been dating claps when the plane lands
  4. When someone brings their acoustic guitar to the party
  5. When nobody will watch Fuller House with you
  6. When your family reunion tee shirt arrives in the mail
  7. When Amazon Prime ships your 6oz bottle of lotion in a 5ft box
  8. When you want to cut your own bangs
  9. When your neighbor commits another murder