Articles of Clothing that Should Never be Worn as Actual Clothing

  1. Paper hats from restaurants.
    I get that u love Krispy Kreme. I don't need to know that it's going to kill you when that hereditary heart disease kicks in.
  2. Bracelets from the club you were at this weekend.
    I'm probably already assuming you need a VD test anyway.
  3. Anything purchased with arcade prize tickets
    If your five year old has a hard time deciding if they want their friends to see them in the foam rainbow visor, you should assume your friends definitely do not want to see you in it. Ever.
  4. Flip flops
    They were created for very specific purposes. Not because you can't sum up the energy to tackle socks and shoes.
  5. Pajama pants
    Not even "just to the gas station" for beer and a scratch off, or for that matter, Wal-Mart.
  6. The free hat from a car dealership.
    Congratulations! You're now a walking billboard for the screwing some salesman gave you after he talked you into paying for the "under coating."