As an RN, I have learned there are a lot of stupid people in the world. I'm cynical AF and well, that's just the way it is.
  1. The ER is not a doctors office.
    Your cough and sore throat will wait until regular office hours. Trust me.
  2. You are not "allergic" to Vicodin.
    You are just drug seeking. Trust me.
  3. Your pain is not 10/10.
    Unless you are sitting there with your bowels hanging out, your pain is not a 10. Trust me.
  4. A shot or blood draw does not require a panic attack from you.
    Yes, a shot sucks. But it's nearly always the actual medication that hurts, not the needle. And if you jerk and the needle comes out, we get to start all over. Trust me.
  5. If you are covered in tattoos and piercings and complain that you hate shots, I'll probably get a larger needle just to be a bitch.
    Needles and catheters come in all sizes and 99% of the time, I get to choose the size. So suck it up buttercup and just trust me.
  6. Body odor is unpleasant.
    Try a shower with soap. Try some deodorant. No one wants to smell your stanky ass. Trust me.
  7. You are in a hospital, not a hotel.
    I really shouldn't need to elaborate here. I am your nurse and I want to help you feel better as soon as possible, but I am not your personal fucking maid!
  8. You are not my only patient.
    I want to spend time with you. Caring for you and getting you well. I also am doing the same for my other 1 to 30 patients depending on the care setting.