REASONS FOR ALARM

things that really freak me out
  1. chicken fries
    why is nobody else repulsed by this concept
  2. "the cloud"
    or whatever abstract entity permanently stores all of my google searches
  3. Google's suggested searches
    which inevitably take you down a rabbit hole where you have no business being (see also: "the cloud")
  4. brainwashing in North Korea
    speaking of rabbit holes, this was a rough one. let's acknowledge that an entire country of people truly believe that Kim Jong-il was born to a chorus of singing angel babies, invented the hamburger, and discovered a pill to cure "shortness."
  5. Instagram's photo map
    on my own map, I can quite literally pinpoint which classroom I was not paying attention in for various uploads. this makes insta "stalking" 1000% more real
  6. iTunes terms & conditions
    I've probably signed my entire life away to Apple several times over but iPhones make everything worth it tbh
  7. syphilis
    did you know standard screenings don't test for syphilis bc it's "outdated" but meanwhile bacteria are corkscrewing through your brain and making people think you're insane when you just need some antibiotics?? you're welcome.