Times I Knew I Wasn't Getting Asked On A Second Date

  1. When I met a guy while I was tabling for sustainable salmon fishing. During our first date I talked incessantly about fish farms along the coast of Southern California, and by the end of the night had made 5 separate jokes about knowing how to"reel guys in".
  2. When I went out with a guy to an Indian food place and they were cooking onions in the back, and I have a VERY strong sensitivity to onions and it looked like I was crying the entire time
  3. When I turned to exit a guys car after making out, and instead of opening the door to exit I ripped off the handle and was trapped inside the vehicle not knowing what to do, and had to shimmy out through the back seat so I could run away.
  4. When we went to see Gone Girl for our first date, which is already way too heavy for two people who just met. At the end of the movie he said he thought it was a great film cinematically and I confessed I always thought it would be cool to Stockholm syndrome a lover. We didn't really talk for the rest of the evening.