MY IRRATIONAL FEARS FOR THE PAST 30 YEARS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

  1. Lava
  2. My parents dying of cholera like the parents in The Secret Garden
  3. The Imperial Monkeys
  4. Chef dolls at restaurants (this was a big thing in the 80s)
  5. The garage
  6. The high dive
  7. A man that used to walk down my street with a burgundy Foley's shopping bag
  8. Taxidermy (this was a big thing in Texas in the 80s)
  9. The woman with the ribbon tied around her neck
  10. The Bunnicula book cover
  11. The Witches by Roald Dahl (specifically the little girl that they make live in the painting)
  12. The Crypt Keeper
  13. Anything with feathers
  14. Telling my mom all of my secrets while on painkillers after having my wisdom teeth removed
  15. Telling my mom all of my secrets while I'm drunk
  16. Having a tooth fall out while I'm eating popcorn and I'll think it's just a popcorn kernel and swallowing it.