ITS 2015 THESE THINGS SHOULD BE UPGRADED
It's time. People smarter than me should start working on making the world a better place.
- •The toilet.I think we can all agree that the toilet isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Since I refuse to poop in public I think my home toilet should be a place of ultimate luxury. A symbol that represents my inevitable success. Maybe some different shapes, seat heater standard, possibly a foot bath and definitely a cartridge where you can load 15-20 rolls of toilet paper so I'm not running pants down past my 80 year old Korean neighbor's window trying not to make on my laminate floors.
- •Paying for the bill at the end of any meal.Not sure how the rest of you rich List assholes live but I'm still living in a place of splitting the checks with 8 of my college pals that still don't know the concept of tax and tip. Constantly have 3 phone calculators out, a pen and pad, Venn Diagrams and no one knows how much to pay. Fuck curing disease, let's fix this today.
- •Getting off an airplane.The way you conduct yourself when you arrive at the gate and the fasten seatbelt sign goes off will tell me everything I need to know about you as a human.
- •A "no talk" option for Ubers or really any public service such as baristas or barbers.Not much to say here, I don't want to talk to strangers unless it's through my phone making lists.