What #merdbot hates

So there's this dude #merdbot. He's comes around the way once in a while, basically rants at me and then he's in the wind. Dude left a box of tapes outside my house once but that's another story. So here's what #merdbot hates...
  1. Those fridge doors that are disguised as cupboards
    #merdbot tells me about how he always ends up in peoples houses trying to find a drink and having to search every cupboard in order to find the fridge. Apparently that can sometimes wake people up...
  2. Overly clean houses
    #merdbot says people who live in houses like this can't actually live and maintain a household like that. Apparently houses like these are also way too easy to leave evidence in...No idea what type of evidence he means...
  3. Men wearing ties
    #merdbot rages that they're symptomatic of rich white men wearing nooses around their neck to motivate them into making more money. Apparently the noose is there to remind them that they may as well hang themselves, rather than be poor.
  4. Parents that put leads on their children
    #merdbot moans that they should be able to control them without leads. Apparently he'd cull those families of the extra children...His words not mine 😕
  5. Stubbing your toe
    Yeah everyone hates this one, but according to #merdbot nowhere near as much as him. He told me that one time he stubbed his toe that many times in one day, that it fell off and had to be replaced by wolves in Armenia
  6. Wood
    #merdbot shrugged when I asked him why he hated wood. 'Because I do. It's wood and it deserves to be hated.' I heard from my neighbour that when he was a kid, #merdbot's family were petrified into trees before his very eyes.