On this historic day...
  1. James Madison drafted the Bill Of Rights, and invented the selfie immediately after
  2. Benjamin Franklin invented American Idol and competed with Ryan Seacrest to be on the $100 bill. Franklin won.
  3. George Washington discovered America and invented the Xpro-II filter on instagram for pics of fireworks
  4. Benjamin Franklin invented the 3D printer
  5. Thomas Jefferson founded Starbucks, the Macbook, and ironic fashion, pioneering the modern hipster movement