WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

  1. 1.
    A cop
    Ages 3-5. Stopped wanting to enforce the law because I grew up.
  2. 2.
    An electrician
    Ages 6-10. My dad is an electrician.
  3. 3.
    A stand-up comedian
    Ages 11-15. Turns out, I wasn't hilarious.
  4. 4.
    A professional guitarist
    Ages 16-17. I played in jazz band in high school and was decent.
  5. 5.
    A dentist
    Ages 18-19. I shadowed my dentist and almost passed out when he injected a little girl's gums with novocane.
  6. 6.
    A scientist
    Ages 20-22 (current). I'm working on a PhD in biochemistry and molecular biology, so we'll see if that works out.